A husband for my daughter. Must be over 6’3,” slim but with an impressive six-pack, own his own car, home, and business, make seven-figures, and not have any scruff, piercings, tattoos, bald spots, or warts. Religious affiliation is negotiable, but if you worship Allah, Buddah, Krishna, or the Reverend Sun Myung Moon, consider yourself toast. Please send all resumes with a current photo to the above email address or call 1-800-getawifenow. 

O.K. admit it. For one brief second, before recognizing the bogusness of this post, you gasped. Why? Because posting an advertisement for a spouse for one of your children is not acceptable. And yet, people post unacceptable, and often very embarrassing items on Facebook and other forms of social media all the time. I know you’ve seen it, and perhaps you have even done it. I confess, I have.

With this in mind, here are a few subjects that I deem annoying, unwise, repulsive, or completely unacceptable, for social media.

 Relationships. There are some people that the minute they begin to date someone post it on Facebook. We see photos of them cheek to cheek declaring to the world how “in love” they are with each other, and that they have found “the one.” They combine their names, Zachary and Isabella into one name, “Zachabella.” They count the many wonderful ways they adore their soul mate. I even saw one girl who, the day after her first date with a guy, posted their “first date” and how romantic it was, on Facebook. Really? The first date? After seeing himself plastered all over her Facebook account I wouldn’t be surprised if it had been their last date.

My point here is that relationships should not be posted until they have become very solid, and by solid I mean closer to engagement level because relationships break up. A lot. Most people go through several hits and misses before they find someone that they feel they can tolerate well enough to marry. In the meantime, all those lovey dovey relationships that don’t work out leave the person who did the posting feeling very embarrassed. Down come the photos, and into the trash go all those sickeningly sweet posts, when a status changes from “in a relationship” to “single.”

Personal moments. This one tends to be more of a mom thing because many moms like to post every little detail of their children’s amazing lives on Facebook. And I get it. I’m a proud mama too, and I could post pictures of all the amazing and wonderful things my kids are doing all day long. But, while some things are perfectly acceptable to post such as birthday parties, first days of school, graduations, etc., some things are totally unacceptable. I’ve seen pictures of family members in the shower, kids going to the bathroom (Really!) and even a picture of a poopy diaper with the caption, “He finally pooped!” (I could have lived without seeing that one.) We all know those things happen, but we don’t need to see it in living electronic color.

Nothingness. I’m sure everyone has at least one person that they follow who posts every little ordinary detail of their day. Posts like, “waking up,” “lunchtime,” “walking,” are not worthy of posting. Let’s be real. We all know that you wake up in the morning. We all know that you eat. And unless you have been struck by a Metrolink train(and haven’t posted about it) we all know that you are fully able to walk from one location to the next, but…we don’t need to have you declare it to every person you know who has Facebook, Twitter, or Google Plus! People want to know interesting things, not ordinary things. They want to be entertained, amused, enlightened, or challenged. Give your followers posts that are worthy of their time and save yourself the embarrassment of being laughed at.

Photos of yourself or family members in inappropriate attire. People (especially people within the homeschool community) have very different views about modesty. I am not offended by seeing your little Janie in a string bikini (although I don’t especially want to see your little Janie in a bikini) but I know a lot of people who would be offended. Little Janie’s bikini may be perfectly modest to you, but not to some of your followers. Also, we need to remember that the internet is available to every pervert on the planet. Do you really want pedaphilic Pablo downloading a picture of your innocent little Janie for his personal ogling? I would hope not. Think about it.

Emotions and rants.  To my shame, I have done this one. Something happens in your life and you are upset so you go to the world wide web so the whole wide world knows your troubles or at least has some intimation that you are having troubles. I’ve seen people post something as simple as, “sad,” or “”life is terrible” all meant to get sympathy.  Perceptive followers will recognize the emotional manipulation in such posts, realizing that the people who make them are wanting someone to ask questions and give them “poor babies.” But the internet is not the place for “poor babies.” If you want sympathy pick up the phone, go have coffee with a friend, pray, or at the very least, send a private message, but don’t try to find emotional gratification from the world populace. When your emotions alter you could be very embarrassed. And personally, I don’t like being embarrassed. It’s, well, embarrassing.

Pouring out our hearts, relating personal information, and sharing the sorrows and joys of life with friends is something we all need to do, but we need to find more private and socially acceptable forums. The internet is a wonderful tool, and a terrible tool and we must wield it with caution and care.

But enough. I’ve gotta go post this on Facebook!