The parties had chosen.
November drew near.
Last insults were spoken.
They’d cast their last smear.

In the hands of the people
The decision now lay.
Oh how should we vote?
Oh my, what should we say?

The decision before us
Was far, far from easy.
In fact, it had left me
Quite sick, even queasy.

As I looked to the left
And I looked to the right,
I discerned our dilemma,
Comprehended our plight.

For villainy flourished
On both sides it oozed through.
And this was our choice…
Demon one, Demon two.

The mules had provided
A sinister creature.
And falsehood was found
In her every feature.

She smiled and she wooed
And put on quite a show.
“A woman,” she cried,
“Could remove every woe.”

Yet of crimes she was guilty.
Much scandal she’d accrued.
Whitewater and Benghazi
Were of great magnitude.

And, Yegads! She had written
That the village must raise
Our impressionable kids
In her devilish ways!

Of course, then there is Billy
Her scamp of a spouse.
He’d endanger each female
If he prowled through the House.

The pachyderms had presented
Their own loathsome snake.
A man without morals
Who was wholly a rake.

Women, he thought of
As arm candy and toys.
Objects to use
To show off to the boys.

And if you were born
Outside of our borders,
He’d hound and he’d hunt you
Then oust you with orders!

Venom he spewed
And quite foolish he sounded.
Nonsense he spouted.
His rise was unfounded!

His buffoonery had proven
No respect he could earn.
World contempt would ensue
If he stood at our stern.

So I thought and I pondered,
I weighed what to do,
Tried to pick the least evil
From the profligate crew.

But as I considered
Which evil was the less,
I discovered no difference
To my greatest distress!

For both were so wicked,
So debased, and so vile,
That I couldn’t decide
Though I thought quite a while.

For never, no never
Had there been such a mess
In all of our history or
Electoral process!

Horrified, I grasped
That our nation was stuck
With a power bent shrew
Or a volatile schmuck!

And now it seemed certain
That our doom was secured
For the wisdom of voters
Was completely obscured.

With our honor discarded
Upright character too,
All hope was extinguished by…
Demon one, Demon two.