angrysalad
Up until my daughter began working at a restaurant I had no idea the level of abuse that restaurant workers endure. During her years working at a large chain restaurant, my daughter was insulted and berated on a daily basis. She was falsely accused of negligence, lying, and theft. She had customers scream at her, curse at her, throw objects at her, and steal from her. She was sexually harassed, threatened with physical violence, and stalked. There were even times when the police were called because customers became so threatening to the staff. Tragically, such experiences are not unique to my daughter, they are the norm in the restaurant industry.


You would think then, with all the nastiness restaurant employees experience, that hosts, servers, and bussers would be thrilled to see a wholesome church group walk through their doors. That Sunday lunch crowd, those lovers of Jesus, and followers of the Biblical injunction to love and be kind to one another, should be the highlight of the restaurant employees’ work week. And yet, strange as it may seem, most restaurant workers will tell you that the group they dread the most is…
…the church group.

And I get it.
Over the years, there have been many times that I’ve wanted to hide behind the lunch specials menu when going out for a meal with Christian friends. It’s as if the moment they walk through the door of an eating establishment their holiness falls away and they become spawns of the devil. They throw fits because they have to wait for more than a few minutes to be seated. They whine and complain because their favorite booth isn’t available. They make nasty comments and demand to “see a manager” because the restaurant doesn’t have the gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, or something else free, food that they want. They roll their eyes in disgust, talk in snippy tones, and run their servers ragged insisting their food be served to their precise specifications. One sister in the Lord pulled an Adrian Monk, sending her son’s chicken nuggets back multiple times because they weren’t uniform in size. Fancy that! One chicken nugget was bigger than the other!
But the final straw that cements our unflattering image in the mind of restaurant employee comes when the meal is over. When church groups have finally gone and the servers heave a sigh of relief and look at their tip, they consistently discover that it is either insultingly small, or non-existent and replaced with a tract telling them they are going to hell.
And the result? We lose our Christian witness.
This behavior does not win souls nor does it glorify God. As image bearers of Christ our behavior should always be exemplary, even in a restaurant. Therefore, I would like to suggest the following ten suggestions to help us maintain our Christian witness.
1) ALWAYS remember that restaurant workers are people, not slaves. Christians need to view those who are serving them their food as equals worthy of respect and kindness. We must be friendly, courteous, and polite. We should ask them about their day and talk to them as real people. If we look beyond the apron we will see what Christ sees, a person He wants to save.
2) ALWAYS think ahead. Christians are known in restaurant circles for bringing large groups to dine but not giving restaurants notice. They arrive in droves, expect to be served immediately, and of course, they want sit together. This is not always easy when you have groups in the double digits. Phoning ahead, and I don’t mean just a half hour or an hour, can make a huge difference. It lets workers know how to prepare and serve their guests better and ultimately makes for a better dining experience for everyone.
3) ALWAYS be patient, understanding, and forgiving. Restaurants can get crazy busy and sometimes hosts, servers, and bussers struggle to keep up with the demands of their jobs. If you have to wait for a table it is not the end of the world. If your food takes a while to get to your table understand that the kitchen is experiencing a heavy load. If they get your order wrong or forget to bring you something be understanding. When they make an error, simply ask in a pleasant manner for the mistake to be corrected. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, even you.
4) ALWAYS keep the number of checks to a minimum. I know it is a pain to divvy up a single tab for a lot of people, but it is also a pain for restaurant employees to have lots of different checks for one party. Instead of feeling inconvenienced because you have take a few minutes to figure out your portion of the check, or being paranoid that you might get stuck paying for someone else’s fried zucchini, think about how things work on the other end. Consider how difficult it is for a server to keep a stack of different checks for one group. Being other oriented is what Christianity is all about, even in a restaurant.
5) ALWAYS control your temper. Never ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER yell or talk in a demeaning tone to your server. Even if you are having the worst service, you should still maintain your self control. Unless an employee has been way, way out of line, don’t make threats to talk to the manager or call corporate. Rarely is there a situation problematic enough for this action.
6) ALWAYS keep special orders and send backs to a minimum. Don’t ask for a million specializations to your order. Asking for a plain burger or for salad dressing on the side is fine, but some people want changes to every single item on their plate. Changes complicate things for the kitchen staff and create delays. And only send your plate back if something is seriously wrong, like meat being undercooked, or some unwanted object appearing in your food. Again, it’s just one meal!
7) ALWAYS manage your children. Fussy little ones can make eating out a miserable experience for people at nearby tables. If you have a baby or young child who is crying or acting unruly, take the child out until it is soothed. Don’t make your fellow customers miserable and cause trouble for the restaurant workers who are having to deal with those disgruntled customers. Your desire for a little adult conversation should never trump another person’s dining experience or make things difficult for your server.
8) ALWAYS clean up your mess. When you are finished with your meal don’t leave your table looking like the aftermath of an 10.0 earthquake. If you have a little one who throws cheerios all over the floor or tears up the children’s menu, clean it up. Yes, it is the busser’s job to wipe down tables and sweep around chairs, but you can make his job easier by keeping your table at least somewhat clean and in order. Again, be other oriented.
9) ALWAYS tip really well. Within the restaurant industry, Christians are known as the worst tippers. Whether they oppose the tipping concept, or they are financially strapped, or simply cheap, Christians rarely leave the 20 percent (yes I said 20%!) tip that restaurant servers expect. We need to understand that tips are the restaurant worker’s bread and butter. Most restaurant employees work long, grueling hours dealing with difficult people and making only minimum wage. Therefore, leaving a minuscule tip, or stiffing them altogether is unconscionable. Always, always leave a 20 percent tip, even if your server wasn’t the greatest. If you can’t leave a generous tip, get fast food or just stay home.
10) ALWAYS be a witness by your actions rather than through tracts. Despite what some Christians think, leaving a tract on a table is not an effective way to witness. And many so-called Christian tracts are extremely rude and offensive. Leaving a tract for your gay waiter that says homosexuals are going to be incinerated with brimstone is extremely unlikely to win him to Christ. It is better to forego the tract and just witness to your server or host through your excellent behavior, or if an opportunity opens, to gently and humbly share the message of God’s love at the cross.
As Christians we should be the kindest, the friendliest, the easiest customers restaurant employees encounter. We should complain the least and be the best tippers. When hosts, bussers, and servers see us walk through their doors they should be happy and excited to serve us, not living in dread of the next two hours.
Meals come and go. They are forgotten a couple hours after we’ve eaten. But our witness lasts forever. Let’s make sure we make it a good one.

Oh, and one more thing. Those stories you hear about restaurant employees putting disgusting things into the food of difficult customers…

…they’re true.